From miscarriages to Twins!

At birth Jayden weighed 5 pds, 3oz and was 18 1/4 inches long. Emily was 4 pds, 6oz and 17 1/2 inches long. Jayden was born 3 seconds before Emily!

The twins were 1 week old when we took these pics and my husband and I had so much fun doing them.

Emily and Jayden are a true blessing! After our son JJ turned 1, James and I had been trying to get pregnant so that JJ could have a sibling to grow up with. I, unfortunately, was not one of those women who enjoyed being pregnant. I was so sick all the time and the extra weight was unbearable. But, what's 9 months compared to a lifetime of love for your children. (A labor of love!) Days, weeks, months and before we knew it almost 3 years had passed and we were starting to doubt that we would have any more children. Then in October, 2006 I missed my cycle so I took a test, it was positive! We couldn't believe it and I went right out to buy a blanket for the expected baby. I called my OBGYN to schedule our first appointment which also consisted of an ultrasound to help further determine how far along we were. When we saw the ultrasound, there it was, a tiny beating heart. It was such a beautiful sight, my husband and I cried tears of joy. But my joy quickly turned into curiosity because the tech seemed concerned and called the doctor in. Our fetus's heart rate was weak. I knew they were trying to ease our concern and explained to us not to alarm ourselves, that this can sometimes be common early on in a pregnancy and they asked for us to come next week again for another ultrasound to closely monitor the heart rate. Sure enough, despite our prayers, my tears of joy were now tears of sorrow. As a stared at the monitor in disbelief, that tiny beating heart, that beautiful, wonderful tiny beating heart, was now motionless and to make things worse, my husband was not able to be there at this appointment, as he was for the first; I was all alone (or so it felt)

Excuse me a moment.....reliving this is really painful and I just had to clear the tears from my eyes and catch my breath. Wow, I had no idea I would react and feel this way talking about this experience, especially now since I have my twins. I guess this was one of those things that I put away in a box and hide in a corner somewhere deep down in my heart.

As I sat on the examination table, I swallowed hard to fight back my tears. I knew that once I really started crying it would take some time to stop. (the tears may stop but the pain never goes away) We had to discuss whether I was going to let the fetus pass through my body naturally, which could take days or if I wanted to schedule a DNC, which is when they remove the fetus for you. It was the week of Thanksgiving and I just wanted this behind me. How could I function properly knowing that I was carrying our baby and it was dead! So many things ran through my mind but ultimately I felt that the DNC was the choice best suited for me. After about 6 to 8 weeks later, my husband and I made the decision to continue trying to have another baby, praying that the miscarriage was a one time occurrence and that the next time all would turn out OK. So, we keep trying and in August, 2007 we had another positive pregnancy test! I didn't want to get my hopes up too quickly so I didn't go out and buy something for this baby till we got further along but, I was so excited. At about 5 weeks along I began spotting and spotting turned into bleeding. James and I rushed to our OBGYN, which did an emergency ultrasound and our fears were confirmed.....we were having another miscarriage. I was furious and hurting. I was confused and I kept asking God why? But, deep down I knew God was not to blame and I was just angry. I didn't know how to react so I told my husband I was through trying. I told him I didn't want any more children and that JJ was enough of a handful for us to handle. Plus, I told James, we could adopt in the future, if we really decided that we wanted to have more kids. Well, as fate and God would have it, I missed my period that following month and we had yet another positive read! I was nervous and pist that I let it happen again. At 6 weeks along I began spotting. I had a brief emotional breakdown and yet again, rushed to my OBGYN, this time with my brother because I didn't want to go alone since James had to work. That is were I found out that I was carrying twins and that they were doing just fine, despite the scare. As of April 14th, 2008 our twins finally arrived! Like some people have said to us: You lost two and God blessed you with two. They say that God will not have us go through more than we can indure and that those things that do not kill us only makes us stronger. I feel that after this whole baby making ordeal is now behind us (since I had my tubes done while having my c-section done when the twins were born) I'm definately stronger in so many levels and that this is only the beginning to many ordeals to come but with God by our side they too shall be overcome by God's will. For now, thank you for reading, for sharing and God Bless!